Rainy Day
by BirdsAlwaysFlyAway
Summary: My submission for tlcshipweeks 2015-2016. Cinder x Kai week, day 2, theme: rainy day. Cinder and Kai take a couple hours off from their duties and spend a rainy day together.


It was weird – after years of living in domes and looking at man-made skies – to see actual rain fall from the sky. Cinder hadn't realised that she'd missed it, but standing in the safety of the palace walls and watching the rain pour down in heavy sheets not a metre away from her bare feet – with no foreseeable end to the wet weather – made her heart ache a little.

Having just moved permanently to the Eastern Commonwealth, and temporarily residing as a guest in the royal palace, she supposed she would have time to get used to wild, uncontrolled weather. There was no longer a throne on the moon waiting for her to return.

"Cinder?"

Startled, Cinder jumped a little before spinning around to face the person who had interrupted her thoughts. It was Kai. Of course, since he was among the few people who still called her "Cinder" anymore. All she was known by now was "Selene Blackburn" or "Her Majesty (former) Queen of Luna", and it was disconcerting that the world had so easily discarded the only name she had ever been herself with. Cinder relaxed and turned her back to Kai to face the pouring rain once more. "Just thinking."

She felt a tentative touch to her upper arm, a slow finger tracing butterfly-light patterns up and down her arm. Cinder closed her eyes, soaking in the feel of him touching her. When she had arrived at the palace and seen Kai for the first time in a year without the barrier of a netscreen, thousands of miles and witnesses that consisted of the other Earthen Union Leaders, Cinder hadn't known what to do; and the last time she had seen Kai in person had been in representation of Luna, and they had both agreed then to keep their feelings to themselves. Now, they had no such agreement, had barely talked about anything at all, and the unknowns were making Cinder nervous. She felt like she was that sixteen-year old girl again, trying to save the world with no idea how to do and pining for a boy she could never have instead of the twenty-five year old she had become – the woman who changed Luna for the better, the woman who had been a queen and who had thrown all her power away.

Still tracing her arm with a finger – never moving closer, but never backing away – Kai asked her, "What are you thinking about?"

"Everything. The rain. Luna. Us." Cinder felt herself press closer to Kai's touch without even realising she was doing it. "Do you think I left Luna too soon? Do you think they were ready to be on their own? They were still treating me like I was their leader when I left…"

Kai's body pressed in closer, too, gravitating towards her until she could feel warmth running up the side of her body that he had pressed against. "They needed to start getting used to the idea of a being a republic – the idea that not one person has full control over Luna anymore. I think… that they needed some time away from you so they could begin to find a rhythm to their new way of life. And if you worry, you can always go back for a visit to see how things are progressing. You know you'll always be welcome there after everything you've done for them."

Cinder turned her face away from the rain and towards Kai, surprised by how close they were – and how tall he had gotten – when her nose bumped his chin. "Thank you, Kai," she breathed, hardly more than a whisper.

Shifting back slightly so he could see her eyes, Kai questioned, "How about we take a break from thinking?" with a smile shining in his eyes. "Just for an hour we'll think of ourselves, and then we can go back to worrying about the world."

Cinder thought it over; she was worried that maybe it wasn't the best idea – what if something went wrong in the hour that they made themselves unavailable? But she wasn't so important anymore that she would be anyone's first call if something was to happen, and if Kai – the emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth – thought that it was okay to do something like this, then maybe it was. Aside from these points, Kai had made getting away from all the responsibility and duty that weighted both of them down so often sound so appealing that she was nodding her head at him before she had even finished thinking it all over.

"Okay, but _only_ for an hour." Cinder tried to look stern but she couldn't hold back the smile that broke free. Kai smiled, too, a smile she hadn't seen since she was sixteen years old and they had won the battle for Luna against her aunt, Queen Levana. That was a long time to have not seen a smile so beautiful, and Cinder felt that she should shield her eyes from how bright it was.

Kai spun on his heels and gestured to a guard standing not too far away from them. The guard paced forward and bowed to Kai. "Your Majesty?"

"Could you please inform royal advisor Konn Torin that I will be unavailable for the next hour, as will Linh-mei, and if an emergency is to arise to use my tracking chip in order to find me?"

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Kai hurried back towards Cinder as the guard left. He caught up her hand as he passed, intertwining their fingers together and pulling her along behind him. "Kai?" Cinder asked hesitantly.

Kai looked back at her and grinned. "We better get going before Torin hears about this and objects," he said. Cinder gazed down at their joined hands for a moment before catching up to his side.

They passed under the safety of the palace doors and stepped into the rain together.

* * *

Surprisingly, no one recognised the very recognisable pair as they strolled hand in hand down the streets. It could have been because the streets were mostly abandoned because of the heavy rain, aside from the occasional teenage couple enjoying a romantic moment or a hurried worker trying to reach their home.

Kai squeezed her hand to gain her attention. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" he asked her, wide sincere eyes gazing into the depths of her soul.

"I know." Cinder looked away.

Kai squeezed her hand again. "So talk to me. I want to hear everything and anything about you." Cinder opened her mouth the speak but Kai cut in with, "And don't talk about the problems on Luna or the issues the people of Luna are having with the new government system. _I want you to talk about you_."

Cinder wanted to cross her arms but one of her hands was trapped in Kai's, so she settled for an angry huff. "You should know better than anyone that problems on Luna are my problems, too. Luna _is_ me, Kai."

Kai stopped them abruptly, spinning Cinder to face him and grabbing hold of her left hand – her cyborg hand – so that he was now holding both her hands to keep her from turning away. "But _you_ are not _Luna_. You've had thoughts, fears, frustrations, victories small and large, losses, and your personal thoughts and fears about everything that happens around that you maybe couldn't share with anyone around you. I want you to share all that with me." Kai let go of her left hand again and coaxed her into a slow walk. "Because I know how it feels to have to keep everything you feel inside for fear of what people might say about it, or how they might interpret it."

Cinder paused, thinking over Kai's words. She had forgotten that Kai had a way with words that made him able to persuade others to his way of thinking or to do something he needed done. She gave in, mumbling, "I don't like what people call me."

Kai didn't even question her line of thought, just asked, "What do people call you?"

"Selene or – _Your Majesty_ , but nine years ago when my identity was revealed to be Princess Selene Blackburn, everyone just assumed that I wanted to be known as Selene after that—" Cinder quickly checked Kai's face to see if he was still following, before continuing on— "but what they don't understand is that Selene died when she was three and all that is left in her place is Cinder. The only people who still call me Cinder are you, Thorne, Scarlet, Wolf, Cress and Jacin – Winter still insists on referring to me as Selene, but that's okay because that's how she's always known me… but everyone else. I don't know who Selene is – Cinder is the only name I have ever known and they all just– just took that away from me without even asking and _it makes me so angry_." Cinder sucked in a big breath.

Kai was watching her. There was no judgment on his face, just understanding. "Was that better?" he asked. "It helps to let things like that out, otherwise it just keeps building up until you just want to curl up on the ground and cry. Believe me, I've felt it before."

It _did_ feel like there was a sudden weight off her shoulders, one she hadn't known had been there under the heavy mass of a whole country that had also been there for nine years. She wanted to thank Kai for helping her through these things that she hadn't known she'd needed help with, but she was embarrassed about her sudden outburst, and wasn't able to find a way to say it before Kai pulled them both to a stop.

"We're here," he announced.

Cinder hadn't known that they had a destination in mind. "Where's 'here'?" she asked suspiciously, turning in a full circle to see their surroundings. She couldn't see much past all of the rain but she could see that they stood under a flickering pool of light cast by streetlamp, on a street that held rows and rows of apartment buildings. She didn't recognise anything. Water trickled from Cinder's hair and into her eyes as she turned to look at Kai. "I don't understand. Is there something in one of those buildings?"

Kai shook his head, his hair plastered to his head. "Romantic moment!" he announced. He grinned sheepishly. "I've been watching some net dramas recently and I may have heard that kissing in the rain is romantic, especially when in a circle of light on a dark street."

Cinder burst into laughter. That explanation wasn't even close to anything she could have thought up. Kai's face flushed and quickly looked at his feet in an uncommon gesture of discomfort and Cinder immediately stopped laughing.

She stepped close Kai, pushing her body into the line of his, forcing him to look away from his feet and into her eyes. "Thank you," she said, her voice barely able to travel to his ears past all the rain pouring down around them. "Thank you for listening to my problems, and _thank you_ for your attempt at a romantic gesture."

Gaining back some confidence, Kai tried to protest, " _Attem_ —" but Cinder cut him off with her lips.

Her retina display was warning her of all the new chemicals in her system, as it did every time she kissed Kai, but she was able to ignore everything but Kai in her desperation for him.

Their lips slipped a little because of the rain, but Cinder pushed closer so that there was nothing but warmth between their bodies. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and she found that she wasn't self-conscious about her cyborg limbs around Kai anymore as she threaded her fingers – cyborg and flesh and bone – through the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling and tugging and wanting him closer. All she wanted was him to be impossibly _closer_.

Kai was just as willing to pull her closer to his body, threading his fingers through her loose hair and kissing her with everything he had. It was obvious that neither wished to pull away from the other, but they both needed to catch their breaths.

Nine years had changed nothing between them, and for that, Cinder was grateful.

After catching his breath from their kissing, Kai said, "Did you know they made a net drama about us?" Kai spouted the random fact with some pride, mixed with some embarrassment. "It may or may not have been where I had gotten the romantic gesture idea." He paused. "Also, they were way off about anything that happened between us."

Cinder laughed, and moved to continue kissing him, but caught sight of the time on her retina display. "Stars! It's been over an hour since we left!" So instead of kissing him again as Kai clearly wanted judging by his small pout, Cinder gripped a hold of his rain-slick hand and began running towards the palace.

When they reached the palace, they raced inside and out of the rain, sneaking smiles at each other and water dripping from their clothes. Several palace guards who didn't immediately recognise the emperor stopped their progress towards their rooms, but when they were able to identify Kai they each stumbled back in surprise. Cinder couldn't say she blamed them, seeing as how Kai had transformed from neat and composed Emperor Kai and into Just A Boy who was flushed with delight and just a plain mess in only an hour. Cinder could honestly say that she liked both of those looks on Kai.

Kai escorted her up the stairs and to her guest room. "Thank you for everything, Cinder," he said, smiling a brilliant smile. He gave her cyborg hand a kiss – she swore she could feel the smile on his lips as they pressed onto her hand for a moment – before he turned to leave.

"Kai?"

Kai paused, turning slightly so that he could see her. "Yes?"

Cinder hesitated for a moment before deciding to push on. "Would you stay until I fall asleep? I don't want to be alone just yet."

"Of course." Kai smiled again. Her heart leaped at the sight. She didn't think she would ever get used to that smile.

Cinder opened the door to let them both in. She quickly got changed into some pajamas before climbing under the duvet on the bed. Kai moved to sit next to her, but Cinder grabbed his hand and gently motioning for him to lie down on the bed beside her, and he did. Facing each other, nothing but their intertwined hands touched and Cinder felt herself slowly falling to sleep.

She had almost found sleep when she heard Kai's voice, and by his words she could tell that he thought she had fallen asleep. She wanted desperately to pull herself free from the darkness that threatened her and wake up and listen to every word from Kai's mouth while staring deep into his chocolate eyes, but she couldn't. But she could still make out the words Kai was saying, at least.

"I know I've never said it, but I need to say it to you just once, even if you don't hear it," Kai whispered in her ear. "I love you."

Cinder felt her heart jump wildly, but she was so deep into the black hole of sleep that she couldn't pull herself out of it before she lost consciousness.

* * *

When Cinder woke later, she found an envelope addressed to her written in Kai's sloped writing balanced against the lamp on her beside drawer. Cinder smiled, thinking of the night she had spent with Kai and her dream where they had ended the night with Kai telling her he loves her.

She picked up the envelope and ran her finger beneath the seal to open it. The letter inside was also written in Kai's handwriting;

 _Dear Cinder,_

 _Thank you for going along with my crazy plan to forget who we are for just one second, and for allowing me to spend that second of freedom with you. It's been nine years, three months, sixteen days (totally not counting!) since I was given the chance to be with you in the way I want to be with you. I don't want to pressure you to move away from the things you've been working towards for the last nine years, but I just want you to know that I still feel about you as I did nine years ago, and that the proposal of marriage we talked about in the throne room is still very much valid._

 _I thought you should know. Just in case you wanted to think about it._

 _Just say yes or no and I'm there._

— _Kai_

Cinder slowly got up out of bed, clutching the letter to her chest, and found her way to Kai with sure, steady footsteps. Standing face-to-face, Cinder reached out her left hand to brush her cyborg fingers over her cheek. Kai let out a brief, audible sigh and closed his eyes at the touch, leaning into her fingers.

Cinder whispered, "Yes".


End file.
